Don Locicero

The Blue Wheelchair: a Metaphysical Mystery Don Locicero

Several years after their divorce, Bernice contacts her ex husband, Valentin, to reclaim the blue wheelchair she left in his keeping. Valentin informs her that he has given the wheelchair to his friend, Homer, after the latter was temporarily unable to walk due to an an accident he suffered while mowing his lawn. Bernice is livid; she threatens to emasculate him if he doesn't promptly return the wheelchair to her. Aware that Bernice will carry out her threat, Valentin contacts Homer. He becomes extremely agitated when Homer tells him that he has passed the blue wheelchair on to Myrna Bosmire, a famous stage director for use in a dramatic production. What follows is a bizarre series of episodes as Valentin and Homer frantically attempt to recover the missing blue wheelchair. Why does Myrna deny that she ever saw the wheelchair? Will the famous detective agency that Valentin hires be able to prevent Bernice from destroying Valentin's private parts? And why do these highly skilled professionals conduct their meetings in an underground bomb shelter garbed only in loincloths?